What happens when we put others needs before our own
When you are always prioritising other peoples happiness it can have a huge impact on your health and wellbeing.
When you prioritise other peoples workload, their to do list or their needs inevitably it means that your own needs, happiness, workload and to do list will be further down the priority list.
Here are a few examples of the impact:
- don’t meet your own needs
- can feel resentful and overloaded
- feel depleted, tired and rundown
- become more and feel more stressed
- can feel like you don’t know who you are or what you want
Why is this important for your children
Our children learn a lot from watching us and how we conduct our lives. They will learn far more from our actions than from our words. We can TELL them they are important, we can tell them they are loved, we can tell them to enjoy hobbies or try new things, we can tell them to be happy BUT it is a lot easier for them if we can SHOW them. If they see us, their parents, treating ourselves as important, loved, enjoying hobbies, trying new things and being happy then it helps show them the way.
Of course this shouldn’t be confused with putting yourself first at the detriment of others. You need to look after your own needs alongside those of your family.
One helpful way to do this comes in the form of compassion. Compassion for others and compassion for yourself. It is like everything in parenting…..a balance…
It’s not always easy
So how do you stop putting everyone else’s needs above your own?
Self compassion and balance – the hard bit – especially at times like this, during Covid19. Lots of parents are feeling stretched and the boundaries and lines between self, others, work, play, hobbies are all a bit blurred.
Some questions you may ask yourself;
Some questions you can ask yourself when doing things for others or being requested to do things for others or feeling like you should:
- Do I want to do this
- Am I doing it because I feel I should
- What will happen if I say no
- What will happen if I don’t do it
- How does this serve me/ who does this benefit
- Who else can help / do / support with this other than me
- Is this a good balance in my life right now
If you need some support finding balance in your life then contact Emma, our Mother’s Mentor.